Benjamin never really did the crossed-googly-eyes thing that newborns do.  He kept his eyes shut most of the time, but if they were open, they seemed to be so focused and intent.  Three months later, he stares at me longer than either of my daughters ever did!

Truth be told… the first month or so of his life was some of the most stressful… Benjamin was colicky.  My first day alone with him, he literally cried all. day. long.  Unless he was nursing or asleep (which he only did for 30 minutes at a time by that point), he was crying.  There was only a mild comfort with him being my third baby in that I felt like I wasn’t doing anything wrong for a normal baby… I just couldn’t figure out what was making him so unhappy.  And, then, like a light-switch, he all the sudden just seemed to only cry for normal reasons: hungry, tired, diaper change, bored, lonely.  Thank the LORD that is over!

this one might be my favorite… the more i look at it, the more I love it!

Benjamin still lays like a frog when he is on his back… just like this.  ha!

and more crying to end…

So… I have some maternity portraits of me… Benjamin’s one month and two month (and yet to be taken three month) portraits… Claire’s 4 year portraits… and then Ellen!!  Oh, I never posted her 16 month or 20 month portraits, and tomorrow, she turns 2!  More portraits I need to take!  And that is just my personal work… Sydney’s 9 month portraits are coming later this week, and a new family will be on the blog early next week!  Lots to see, friends!  I’m back!!!!

this first image was one of my test shots to see how the lights/exposure was working.  These are my very generous in-laws that allowed us to use their house for the Heifer Holiday Photo Booth, since our house doesn’t have the space to accommodate so many people AND equipment.

My goal was to raise enough to give 4 heifers or a number of great family & community boosting things (see their “gift catalog” HERE).  This is straight from the Heifer International website (a heifer requires a $500 donation):

When a family has a cow, every morning there’s a glass of rich milk for the children to drink before heading off to school. Classes are paid with the income from the sale of milk, and there’s even enough to share with the neighbors.

A good dairy cow can produce four gallons of milk a day – enough for a family to drink and share with neighbors. Milk protein transforms sick, malnourished children into healthy boys and girls. The sale of surplus milk earns money for school fees, medicine, clothing and home improvements.

Better still, every gift multiplies, as the animal’s first offspring is passed on to another family-then they also agree to pass on an animal, and so on.

And because a healthy cow can produce a calf every year, every gift will be passed on and eventually help an entire community move from poverty to self reliance. Now that’s a gift worth giving!

Though I have not witnessed this level of poverty firsthand, I understand that every small donation can be life changing for a family in need.  And, I firmly believe in giving families a hand-up and not just a handout (though handouts can be great, too!).  It absolutely amazes me that a gift as little as $20 can give a family a flock of chickens!  ”Heifer helps many hungry families with a starter flock of 10 to 50 chicks. A good hen can lay up to 200 eggs a year – plenty to eat, share or sell. With Heifer recipients’ commitment to pass on the offspring and training, the exponential impact of adding chickens to communities in poverty is truly a model that helps end hunger and poverty.”

CLICK HERE TO GIVE TO OUR TEAM (you must give specifically to the Rae Barnes Photography team for us to count your donation towards the drawing- we have a ticker on the site to show the donors so you can make sure yours went thru on our team).

So… give!  $10, $20, $100, $500 or $1,000!  Your gift goes far and changes lives.  If we greatly exceed my goal of $2,000 with just people giving what they can, I may just have to come up with runner up prizes.  I’ve wanted for a while now to give my gift of photography to change lives… I have given a couple a wedding package pro-bono, I’ve given a handful of families the gift of free photography and I’ve given my time to take portraits for various fundraisers.  But, for me, none of that felt like I was truly changing lives.  I knew it was a blessing, but it wasn’t exactly putting food in hungry bellies or clothes on naked bodies.  So, this has been my trial run to see how much I can raise to give to truly change lives.  I appreciate all of you who have given and all of you who read this.  :-)  In the coming weeks, I intend to have a survey for those who gave and another for those that didn’t.  I would like to make this an annual tradition, but obviously, I want to improve every year.  Thank you all!  And Happy Holidays!

(my personal favorite subjects from the Photo Booth- this image has been edited, recipients received images straight out of camera- I will share those later)

oh, hey, cutie!

Sydney LOVES her activity gym.  And, i LOVED capturing her expressions while she played in it.

there is so much love in this family!  it makes it super easy for me to want to give up a day to come photograph them in Boston.

Sydney is a really sweet baby… so I just had to capture the brief moment she wasn’t happy (she was ready for a little nap).

… a nap in the leaves.  ;-)

as a mother of two little ones, I am very familiar with this position.

such a sweet boy!

I love how sweet big sisters can be.

James was all smiles for about 95% of the shots I got of him, so that’s probably why this next image caught my eye and made me smile.  So serious.

I would like to pause and reference the preview/timeline photo at the top of this post.  I know I usually pick a color image, and I also usually try to get an image of the entire family.  But, I just LOVE that shot too much.  This next one is in the same spot on the playground.  Sweet sibling love!

So, normally, I am very decisive when it comes down to choosing between two images that are similar, except (of course) when I think images should be displayed in a sequence.  These next two are very close, but I love them equally (and, for the record, there are a few more in the sequence).  :-)

If you don’t know by now, you will soon find out: I kinda have a thing for swings.  They were my favorite thing on the playground when I was a kid, and I love to watch babies and kids on them to this day.  This was James’ first time on a swing.  I think he liked it (or maybe just he thought it was funny I was sitting on the ground so close to him when he swung forward).

Sister pushed him for a while… haha!

But then, it was her turn!!

And… this is the moment when everyone else on the playground thought I was nuts… 6 months pregnant and laying on my back in the mulch with my camera pointed at the sky… just waiting for a little girl to come swoosh by my face so I could get this shot.  Worth it.  (but, this is also why I’ve officially finished shooting until May- apart from 2 shoots for Baby’s First Year with Sydney).

a few family shots…

I know James loves his sister, but she’s not as fascinating as that leaf on the pavement.  ;-)

They were having a VERY serious conversation.

number one way to know when a photo shoot is over: when a very happy baby makes a face like this…  :-)

I love how perfectly beautiful toddler’s features are at this age (about a year and a half).  Oh, to have that skin again!!

I usually encourage moms to pack some healthy (but yummy) snacks for the shoot just in case.  Anthony really wanted his juice box.  I think about 15% of the juice actually made it into his mouth.  This next image really cracks me up!

Anthony’s hair matched the autumn leaves perfectly!

Sometimes, at this age, it is nearly impossible to get a sit-still-and-perfect-and-smile-at-the-camera shot.  Most of my clients aren’t looking for that kind of image anyway.  This is one configuration that seems to work pretty often in getting all subjects to smile naturally!

You’ve totally got this tree, Anthony.  ha!

What would a toddler portrait session be without playing with sticks and trying to climb on things??

Another swinging shot, just because he had so much fun with the first one, and I needed to get a little closer this time.

This closing shot is showcasing my love for toddlers that climb and seek out their next adventure.  I giggle every time I think about the equivalent for someone my size.  No way would I climb those stairs if they were the same ratio to my height as they are to his!

A side note about the preview image at the very top… it was one of the very last shots I grabbed of Anthony.  He was beat after running all over the arboretum with us, so he just plopped down in the road.  I, of course, wouldn’t ask a toddler to sit in a busy street (nor would I even pause to take time to take the picture if the tot was in danger).  But, just as I assumed he was safe, I heard a car whipping around the corner (on a 5mph road inside the arboretum).  I stood up in hopes the driver would see we were in the road.  She barely slowed to swerve around me.  She was too busy looking at her phone.  Fortunately, Anthony was out of the road by the point she got to me.  But, seriously, people, put your phones down while driving!

What you must GIVE is a minimum donation of $50 to Heifer International.  We will use their online form for our “team” to collect donations, so bring your debit cards, please.  We can also collect checks made out to Heifer International and send them in for you, but PLEASE, no cash.  If you’ve never heard of Heifer, you should check them out here for the most thorough explanation, but here is the gist:

“Heifer International’s mission is to work with communities to end hunger and poverty and care for the Earth.  By giving families a hand-up, not just a handout, we empower them to turn hunger and poverty into hope and prosperity, but our approach is more than that. By bringing communities together and linking them with markets in their area, we help bring sustainable agriculture and commerce to areas with a long history of poverty.”

What you GET from your donation (apart from the great feeling of knowing you’ve helped give someone a much needed hand-up) is one full-sized image file, straight out of camera, emailed directly to you on the spot.  For every $50 you donate, we will give you another image.  It is a photobooth style shoot for us, so we are not giving a predetermined amount of time to each party, though we obviously will give you more time if you donate more.

We’ve used this set-up for other charities before, but due to the lack of model releases, we can only share a few samples with you from what I did for my in-laws for Christmas last year.  I realize all of these are vertical shots; I can and will do some horizontal as well.  Happy viewing!

we maxed out the set with the entire family, so if you are an older family, keep this in mind.  We cannot fit more than 8 with maybe an additional 2-3 on laps or in arms.  Please, consider donating more if you have a larger family.  We won’t require it, but larger groups do take more time.

Extra notes: I highly recommend that anyone with children that may be difficult to get to look at the camera or do whatever you wish for them to do for the portrait BRING HELP (grandparent, favorite toy or snack, etc.).  No pets, please, and please, let us know if you have an allergy (there is a dog/cat in the house, but we can contain them).  Also, since it is a plain white backdrop, you may want to consider wearing bright colors or bringing props.  You will have just a few minutes in front of the camera, depending on the amount you donate and the amount of images you want, but we obviously will pull out all of the stops we have to make sure you get ONE good one, at the very least.  While my style is usually very candid and relaxed, this will be a little more set up.  I absolutely want everyone to have fun, but we won’t have time, like I do during a normal portrait session, to capture more candid moments.

Click here to donate now (please, print your receipt and bring it with you).

Click here to RSVP and request a time slot of your choice (not required, but PLEASE do it if you know you are coming).

If you are not able to attend the Holiday Photobooth on December 1, there are still ways to participate in our efforts!  If you’ve had a shoot with us this year, please, email me directly to learn about your Give & Get options (these won’t be made public, but you do have incentives to give, too!).  If you can’t come to the Photobooth and haven’t had your portrait taken by us this year, you can still give!  I will announce another incentive the weekend Photobooth takes place.  You WILL want to hear it, especially if you are hoping to have a session with us next year.

Thanks so much, everyone!  Spread the word!  We want to see all of you there.

I graduated from Converse College (a tiny all-women’s college in Spartanburg, SC) in May of 2004 with my degree in art, and I had little more than a summer internship at an ad agency in Asheville, NC waiting for me upon graduation.  A few weeks after graduation, I received an email from a woman who had contacted the Dean of the Art Department at Converse looking for a student to photograph her brother’s wedding at the end of June.  The Dean thought I would be great at it; I was skeptical.  But, I did it.  June 26, 2004 was the first wedding I ever photographed.  It was completely in film with one camera, two lenses and 10 rolls of film.  I charged them barely enough to cover gas, film and printing, and I gave them far more than I told them I would.  I designed myself a logo (“Photography by Rae”) and sent them letters on my “letterhead.”  I made them an album and didn’t charge for it.  I could barely believe they trusted something so precious to me, so I wanted to exceed their expectations.  From their response, I believe that I did.

Fast forward to 2005 and tons has changed.  I got married and moved to Saranac Lake, New York.  I had hoped to go to grad school so that I could teach photography, but that was put on hold.  I wanted to do something with my degree, but in a town of less than 6,000 people, what in the world is there to do??  Well, long story short, my husband had made my first website back in 2004 with images from that first wedding a few shots I grabbed at a friend and a cousin’s weddings, and he just happened to pass it along to a few people, which ended up landing in front of the eyes of a wedding coordinator in Saranac Lake.  Even though I thought I was doomed to terrible jobs that paid $9/hour for the duration of my husband’s three year commitment in NY, God obviously had other plans for me.  I photographed two weddings at the end of 2005 and had 12 weddings booked for 2006. I quit my day job as a manager at a photo lab and never looked back.  I ended up with 17 weddings my first year being full-time in the business (2006).

My goal when I stepped on the scene in Saranac Lake was to do something different for all the LOADS of destination brides that get married near there.  I wanted to be full-service since everyone else was “shoot and burn.”  I wanted to offer full services and products that every bride deserves.  From 2006 to the end of 2008, I photographed nearly 70 weddings.  That may not sound like much, but the season up there only runs from end of May through the beginning of October… about 4.5 months (averaging 20-22/year).  In 2007, I opened a studio space in town and hired an office manager.  I could barely keep up.  In 2008, I was pregnant and shooting 26 weddings back-to-back and had 60 portrait clients.  I had no idea what being a mother would be like, so I didn’t even look into childcare options until I was 8 months pregnant.  I decided to close the studio space, let my office manager go and take only 12 weddings in 2009.

On January 17, 2009, my world was rocked.  Claire Anna was born, and I had not adequately planned a maternity leave.  I barely got one really, and it was one of the more stressful times in my life.  Brides were anxiously waiting for their albums while other brides were anxiously waiting to get emails returned for quick questions about their upcoming weddings, and all the while, I was completely sleep deprived and overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for a newborn.  If I had not been utterly in love with photographing weddings, I probably would’ve quit right then and there.  But, I got into a routine, hired a super affordable nanny for a 2-4 days a week (depending on the season), and I made it work.  It worked for me, even with a move to Philadelphia in February 2010.  I found another nanny, had some family help, and I was golden.  Until… May of 2011, when Ellen Arbie was born, and I lost my nanny because she was having a baby herself… and I lost over half of my wedding/portrait season because of the time of year Ellen was born and thus couldn’t afford a nanny anyway.  I committed myself to get work done when my mother-in-law could watch the girls (one day a week) and on nights, weekends or nap times.

Any of you that have children probably understand how crazy that idea was, but as moms, we do what we have to do to keep up with the things we love.  I wanted to honor my commitments to clients, I wanted to continue photography because I love it, but I also wanted to be home with my daughters during the day because I knew (and always knew, deep down) that that was what was best for them.  But, the last 18 months have been tough, friends.  Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being home and I absolutely LOVE being a photographer, and each, independent of the other, brings great joy and satisfaction.  But, I have had more stress than I can carry.  When I evaluated where the stress is coming from, I realize that 98% of it is self-inflicted.  I am a perfectionist by nature.  I want everything I deliver to be the best I think I can make it, and I want to make it better than the last wedding or shoot I did.  I have run my business with the hopes of exceeding expectations- under promising and over delivering.  And, I always, always wanted to be full service and not let any bride “walk out my doors” without a wedding album (that actually became a rule at some point in 2007 when I was booking 2008 brides).  Well, now reality has sunk in, and I simply cannot give what brides and grooms deserve to have and NOT have childcare year-round.  I’ve failed or disappointed more couples than I ever thought I would (one is too many, honestly) by just not keeping up with the deadlines I set for myself.  I’ve hired someone to help me out with the girls so that I can finish out strong before our third child (a BOY!) is born in February, but she is temporary.

So, officially, I have not and will not book any weddings in 2013 (with the exception of maybe 1 in the Adirondacks since I have a soft spot for that place and those brides).  It will be SO WEIRD to go without doing weddings, so it is a trial for now.  I may come back in 2014, I may come back in 2016 (when our son is in preschool), or I may never go back to weddings.  I still have a passion for photographing relationships and the deep love in a family, and so, my hope is that I will be able to do more portrait work for families with babies and young children.  That will be my focus.  I am not disappearing (apart from maternity leave from January-April), but I am cutting back so that I can be sure to give my best to my kids, my husband and my clients.

I love that I have been granted the gift to freeze time for so many couples on their special day, and this honestly was a very emotional decision to make at first.  I’ve been pregnant for all 4 of the weddings I photographed this year, and at every single one of them, I started tearing up or got choked up at some point during the reception when everyone is on the dance floor celebrating and dancing with the bride and groom.  The last wedding I did, it was all I could do to NOT start sobbing with Madonna singing in the background (weirdo, I know) since I knew that could be it for me for weddings.  I got my start in weddings.  Weddings are what led me to be a photographer by trade.  I love just about every aspect of working with brides.  But, the bottom line is that it is too much work to maintain quality and sanity for much longer (especially once we add a third child to the mix!), and I refuse to cut corners to make it less work.  If you knew my workflow, you would know that I work pretty fast, but the problem isn’t that… it is HAVING the time to do it!  Anyway, this post is way longer than I expected.  I am excited for the future direction I’m heading, but it is bittersweet to leave weddings behind for a season.  Thank you for reading all of this!  If you have questions or need recommendations for other wedding photographers, please, don’t hesitate to ask!  Be blessed, friends, and thank you for your continued support and following!

Thanks so much for coming all the way from Florida to make this session happen.  I’m so happy to be have been able to update your portrait collection from eight years ago!  :-)